Life is a Journey

Oh what a journey it has been!  With just a few days left in 2014, I have been reminiscing as most of us do.  I didn’t post on my blog all year!  It isn’t because I’m cured and never think about surviving cancer.  I still go for my follow up visits to the doctor every six months and get blood work and scans. Earlier this year, my scan showed a tiny dot the size of a pinpoint that will need further testing.  It’s too small to biopsy.  I had a choice to focus on the fearful thoughts of “OH NO!! How can this be?! Has the cancer come back? Why oh why?”  Or I could put it in perspective.  If the spot is too small to test, why worry?  Why give such a tiny little spot SOOOO much energy and power?  Nah!  I’ve been down that road on this journey called life before.  That is an old chapter and I’m moving forward.

The new chapter is 2015 and it’s going to be a good one!  No matter what, I will be alright.  This year, I am going to give power to what brings me joy like writing, meditating and hiking!  I’m going to spend more time with family and friends.  I’m going to let go and enjoy the journey!!

How about you?  What would you like your journey in 2015 to look like?  What will you continue doing?  What will you let go of?  What are you ready to change?

–

 

Life’s a Beach

Over the years I’ve shared about my journey from being diagnosed with cancer, the surgery, medical visits, treatment, follow-up visits, remission and more.  It is a battle that I feel blessed to have won.  I’ve been in remission a few years now.  I haven’t blogged nearly as much as I used to.  But another big event has taken place in my life and it only seems right to share about it here with my readers!

We all know life’s a beach.  We can ride the wave or wipe out.  Build a sand castle or fall into a whole in the sand.  But you’ve got to get back up, shake the sand off and press on.  Alright, you get the point.  Back to one of the most amazing experiences of my life…

In early July, I went on our annual vacation to the beach with my family, fiance and step-daughter.  While on vacation, we decided to scrap the idea of having a traditional wedding.  Why spend months and months planning out details for a wedding?  It was stressful, time-consuming and far from enjoyable.  Instead we decided to get married during our vacation at the beach!  Say what?  Yep, that’s right.  And in three days it all came together.  We got the marriage license, flowers, officiant, photographer, rings and all!  Everything seemed to fall into place.  I even found my wedding dress 4 hours before I walked down the aisle.  That in itself is a small miracle.

After surviving cancer, I know that life can change in an instant.  In a way, the dark times in life seemed to make my wedding day brighter.  It gave me the courage to embrace my fears, appreciate love and open my heart.

Our beach wedding was magical.  When I think about it, I smile. ❤

 

 

 

Courageous Enough to Keep Walking Forward

“Cancer is not a battle that we win or lose. It is not our fault or a sign of weakness. We are not responsible for our cancer outcomes. The crapshoot of cancer and recurrence can NOT be controlled. Celebrate yourself for each time you, despite all the trauma of cancer, treatment, and the mindfuck of “survivorship”, choose to love, live, lust, laugh… We are not a success story based on our cancer progression or not. We succeed when we are courageous enough to keep walking forward even with missing parts, severe pain, addled brains, and broken hearts.”  ~Dr. Erica D. Bernstein

These profound words by Erica Bernstein really hit home with me.  I’ve been in remission for over three years.  The more time that goes by, the less I think about cancer.  But I will never forget what the journey was like.  Whether it’s a cancer survivor’s story on the news or hearing about a friend newly diagnosed, I seem to be reminded quite often of what it was like.  Yesterday, I was with a friend who just found out that she had cancer.  She was so scared and cried as she talked about her fears.  I got chills as she shared about it.  Her battle is just beginning.  She will know more about it tomorrow.  I have been keeping her in my prayers.

Listening to her took me back to that initial fear and racing thoughts I had when the doctor told me that my tumor was malignant.  I didn’t know how to process the words.  I couldn’t believe it.  But deep down, I had a sense of serenity and I knew that I would survive.  I connected with that power.  I re-discovered my courage and strength.  I kept walking forward.  There were times when I wanted to wave the white flag and give up, but I kept walking forward.  Through the doctors appointments, treatment, medicine, tears, nausea, depression, physical weakness, and more, I got to the other side. 

Cancer changed the direction of my life.  I am grateful for the experience because it led me to where I am today.  It made me aware of how strong of a woman I am.  It gave me a chance to get in touch once again with what matters in life.  And I hope that my friend finds the gifts that I found.  I pray that she connects with her strength and is courageous enough to keep walking forward.

 

Healthy New Year

As a cancer survivor, it would be nice to hear people wish one another a “Healthy” New Year instead of the common “Happy” New Year.  Think about it.  Happiness is a choice.  I can wake up each day and set my intension on being happy and attracting positivity into my life. 

When it comes to being healthy, I don’t have the power to be healthy.  Don’t get me wrong, I can focus on being healthy.  I can do things like watch what I eat, not smoke, exercise and more to stay healthy.  But I could not control getting cancer.  It was not a choice.  What was a choice was my attitude towards it all.  I made a choice to be a cancer survivor.  I decided to fight the fight.  I did what I had to do to beat it!  You can to!!

May 2012 bring you HEALTH and HAPPINESS!

 

What Cancer CANNOT Do

As soon as I read “What Cancer Cannot Do” I felt my inner cancer SURVIVOR come out.  We tend to give cancer a lot of power.  It is part of the process to start blaming changes in our lives, relationships, outlook, attitude and choices on cancer.  The real deal is that each one of us has the power and inner-strength to focus on what we CAN do and what cancer CANNOT do.  It is a powerful exercise. 

I started thinking about what else could be added to the list.  I’m sharing it with all of my blog readers and asking you to add to the list as well.  Here is my version:

Cancer is so limited…

It cannot turn my world to darkness.

It cannot make the beauty of nature disappear.

It cannot take over my being.

It cannot drain my creativity.

It cannot silence my voice.

It cannot prevent me from spreading awareness and hope.

It cannot come between my connection with a Higher Power.

It cannot stop me from laughing and smiling.

It cannot take my will power.

It cannot make me give up.

It cannot take away my joy.

It cannot change my purpose in life.

 

Voices of Cancer Survivors

For years, I have shared my cancer survivor journey on this blog.  In turn, many of you have left comments in response to many of the blog posts.  (Thank you!! You all rock!) I’d like to magnify that by opening the stage for all cancer survivors to use their voice by commenting at the end of this post.

You can voice anything through your comments, as long as it is relates to your cancer survivor journey.  This is your space to connect with others, help others, vent, inspire, and give back.  For many of us, cancer can drain our energy, darker our spirit and quiet our voice.  Fight the Fight!! Speak up and use your voice by sharing your comments!  If it helps, here are some questions to get your minds going:

• Where are you in your cancer survivor journey?
• What lessons have you learned from having cancer?
• What gets you through the fear and difficult times?
• Are you putting off any kind of medical follow-up like a doctor visit, scan, blood work?
• How has your outlook on life changed?
• Has cancer had an impact on your relationships with your spouse/partner, children, family, friends, co-workers, self?
• What would you tell someone who was just diagnosed with cancer?
• Did you find an inner-strength and or stronger connection with a higher energy, spirit or source during your cancer survivor journey?
• What have you done to give back and help others fight the fight?
• Has your cancer survivor journey inspired you in some way?  If so, what did you do with that inspiration?
• Do you still feel stuck in a “cancer mindframe” even though you’re in remission?
• Are you living life beyond cancer?

If you would like to comment on one of the questions or more, then go for it! If not, please voice your own thoughts.

Thank you!!

 

Fight the Fight

Awesome News!!! My blood test results show my Tg level was undetectable after the thyrogen shots! This means I am still cancer -free!! Oh yeah!! That’s right!! Thanks for the prayers and much appreciated support!! (Happy Dance)

What a difference a week makes. Last week was shots, blood work, fear and praying.  Fast forward it a week after I got the results and I’m at ease.  I can go on and live my life with all of this behind me.  Sure there will be another follow-up test in 6 months, but that is a long ways away.  There is no point in thinking about it.  I am focusing on the here and now.  That is where life happens!!

To all cancer survivors (including people newly diagnosed, battling cancer and going through treatment), continue to reach out for help, put one foot in front of the other and fight the fight!! You never know what tomorrow will bring, so be grateful for the blessings you have today!!